and Sprinkles on Top

The Sound of Silence

Posted on 13. Mar, 2009 by Deb in The Girl

I clearly remember doing Algebra homework in front of the television when I was in the 8th grade.  Up until that point, I rarely had homework, except for books for book reports.  Though that never seemed like homework, because I loved to read.  Maybe it was the ease of the work or the fact that my brain was younger, but the ability to multi-task my attention was second nature.

Right after the divorce, the first purchase I made was a television for the bedroom.   I couldn’t sleep when it was quiet and I didn’t want to be in a perfectly quiet house.  I officed from home then as well, so I think the TV tended to be on 24-7 for a few months.  I can still remember the first weekend that the girls were at their dad’s and I was completely alone in the house.  The quiet was too much.  TVs or radios were on whether I was awake or asleep.

Today, things are different.  At times, there is nothing better than the sound of silence. I sometimes wish I could pinpoint the day the switch took place, though I know that it was while I was living in hotels in DC.  Rarely did my television in the room get turned on, though I did listen to music.  But I always had work to deal with, newspapers to read, and when I had spare time, museums to visit.

Sometimes, the silence is due to chance, like when the kids are first asleep and the house gets that first respite from chatter and telephones and game sounds.  Sometimes, the silence is due to choice, when the kids are at school and I am home working on a project, I purposely leave the TV off.  Often, the silence is due to necessity.  I don’t know if it is the aging of my brain or the complexity of something I may be working on, but in order to focus in, especially on my studies, I need the silence.

My oldest has now finished her requirements for high school.  At semester change, we moved her to a program that would allow her to fast-track her studies and work at her own pace.  We had to sacrifice things, like extra curricular activities, but the plus side was that once she completed all of the work, she didn’t have to go back to school.  She won’t receive her diploma until June 4th, however, she is considered to be a graduate by the school.   Her goal is to get a full-time job so that she can save money before college begins in the fall, but until that time, she is home now during the day.  The first rule I instituted was the times of silence and that prior to her randomly turning on the TV or beginning a game before 4 PM, she needed to check with me.

The last week she was in classes, she was released at noon.    I picked her up and when we got home, I told her she needed to do something quiet – she could read or paint or draw, but it was not going to be video games or TV, because we were in the middle of my quiet time.  She tried to argue with me that it didn’t matter.    After a couple of days, she finally began to understand that moments of silence were more about production, focus, and opening creativity than it was about stifling anything she wanted to do.

Today, for the first time all week, the television was on during the morning.  I realized the new Secretary for the Department of Energy would be on CSpan 3 answering Senator questions about the proposed budget.  I want to know what the Dr. Chu’s views are on Environmental Management, Nuclear Fuel Recycling and other such things.  She came in my office and sat on the couch a moment to watch with me and we discussed what was going on and why I was interested enough to watch Senators from Washington, Tennessee, Oregon and Kentucky ask questions.

I like the moments in the house when it is full of life, when the kids are playing a game or watching a movie together.  I’m just thankful that maybe, just maybe, they are also beginning to appreciate that in a world of constant electronic stimulation, that having silence isn’t a bad thing.  Pursuits like drawing, painting, reading and writing can flourish in the quiet.  Music can be appreciated when it isn’t competing for airtime with the television or Wii.  Let’s just hope that the quiet times continue to foster some creativity and production for both of us during the day.  And quiet at night so we can all sleep.

I have to admit that the necesssity of silence is making me feel a tad old, but the choice of silence is truly heavenly.