“My muse is angry at me,” she said.

Then we began to discuss why she felt that way and, better yet, how to remedy it. For some writers, there is a ritual, routine, and rhythm associated to their writing.  She is one of those writers.  When she finds her rhythm, though, it’s magical.

I’ve been having problems connecting with my muse myself.  It’s why I understood what she was trying to tell me.  Lately, when I sit to write, all I see before me is a blank canvas that I’m afraid to paint upon.  Now to figure out how the hell to overcome the fear and reconnect myself.

(bolded words are my magnetic words for the last three days)

But the other comment he made about being at a “way-station” hit as well.  I didn’t lock-stock-and-barrel relocate, but I have literally lived out of suitcases  from May2006 until recently, although the heaviest periods of travel were this past year.  Not being “settled” is sometimes counteractive to a creative soul.    I’ve also wondered about age and it’s contributing factor.  And the fact that while I can get the ideas into my head, getting it out onto paper – whether journal or virtual, seems more difficult as it is hard to focus.

These past few weeks, I have written more than I have the previous few months.  I’m not just writing here and at All Things Girl, I’m hammering away again on short stories, doodling with some poetry, and doing some free writing that will only make it to my paper journal as it was not for the consumption of an audience, but simply for me.  I think the last time I did any writing just for myself, to be honest, was after gong to the Pentagon Memorial. I’m also dreaming more, especially the last week.  Dreams that I am remembering, though I haven’t been disciplined enough to write my dreams down, at least in my paper journal, like I should.  In the past, my dreams have always been good at guiding me and my muses.

Melissa, she mentioned maybe it was because I was settled in one place for so long.  I don’t know.  She might be right.  I’m just happy to have it back.  I have to travel the next two days, so we will see.  I used to be very productive on flights and most of my 2006 columns as well as a chunk of work on a novel too place during my sequestered time.  We will see that as well since the flight time is about three hours.

Creativity for many can be fickle.  It can also be all consuming.  And it’s tempermental, much like the people who posess it.  I know when I get into a writing groove, I get frustrated at any interruption, be it a text message, the dog, or other such truly non-threatening thing.   And on days were I am struggling to hang onto it, every possible distraction is almost welcome, as if to save me from my own muse.

I like reading, by the way, what friends are thinking on creativity.  It allows me some perspective into how mine behaves as I see how theirs behaves.  And it makes me realize that I am not alone.