Though I have quietly observed the Season of Lent the past two years, today is the first time in several years that I have attended Mass on Ash Wednesday.  When I am at home, I usually attend mass with the Carmelite Nuns.  Today, however, I journeyed a bit north and attended service at St. Maria Goretti Catholic Church in Arlington.

It was at St. Maria Goretti that I attended the RCIA classes and officially converted to Catholicism back in 1990.   I left the Parish in 1997 after a disagreement with the Pastor over what constituted the proper “mold” a child should fit within in order to receive a Catholic Education.  I could not, in good conscious, give my time and money to a church that felt children should fit certain molds, as we are all God’s Children.

When walking into the sanctuary today, I felt a wave of peace come over me.  All the things I love about the Catholic Church – the ritual, the tradition, the comfort found in the Order of the Mass were surrounding me in this beautiful building.  And I could feel it radiating from the people in the church today, most of which was an elderly crowd of cradle Catholics.  I was glad that I had arrived early, so that I could take some time to kneel and say silent prayers. The Homily was short, but sweet and the priest spoke  about how the Lenten Season is not simply about sacrifice, but is actually a joyous season.  And I lingered after the completion of the Liturgy of the Word, the Distribution of Ashes, and Communion.

Afterwards, a stranger asked me at a store if I realized there was something on my forehead.  I explained that today was Ash Wednesday.  Something clicked for her and she asked “So what did you give up for Lent?”

I know that traditionally, a person should give up something they love for Lent.  Many people give up favorite snacks.  The Priest said he told the Junior High kids in the previous Mass that they should give up texting.     I have decided the last couple of years to embrace Lent in a different way and enrich my spiritual life.  Last year, I took up mediation and abstained from eating meat on Fridays from the beginning of Lent until the beginning of Advent.

So, what was my answer to the stranger?

“Finding my Faith again.”

I have to say, she was a bit taken aback.  But the clerk who overheard this conversation quietly told me as I paid for my purchase, “Good luck with your Lent Thing.”

Each year, instead of choosing a New Year’s Resolution, I have chosen words in which to guide me.  I haven’t publicly shared my 2010 words yet, but my main word for this year is just that: Faith.   Faith encompasses something beyond a belief in God.  My belief that God exists has not changed nor has the core of that belief been shaken in any way.  Other areas of Faith, however, are shaky.  My Faith that people are truly good and kind.  My Faith in the laws of karma.  My Faith that in the long run of things, everything will work out in the way it should, and in the proper time, not in MY time.  And most of all, the Faith I need to have in myself.  That I am worthy.

In many long discussions with my dear friend Lee over the choice of my 2010 word, she suggested that maybe one word was all I needed this year.  I usually add a complementary couple of words to spice things up and I’m still debating that issue.  If I do choose two more words, one of those will be Gratitude and the other shall be Hope, but the jury is still out to be honest.  I do know that it’s time to begin to keep a Gratitude Journal once again, even if it’s just for the period between now and Easter.

Though it is only 9 PM, it has been a long day.  Time for a little bit of reading and a warm bed.

Sweet Dreams.

It has been suggested to me that meditation would be of assistance to lowering my blood pressure. I tried meditation about five or six years ago but was not successful at quieting my mind. I had found a teacher, but the stress of the divorce was non conducive to adding to my education. There is a more than patient group of  teachers in the area.    And though it is a mix of spiritual followings, I am thinking that the Lenten Season may be the perfect time for me to give it a try again.  I need to see if I have the patience with myself to be successful at it, as I know that it is where I failed in the past.

Yes, the Lenten season is upon us, as is evidenced by the tales of Mardi Gras in New Orleans, Venice, Rio and other such places. Ash Wednesday is this coming week, on the 25th. Traditionally, folks “give up” something, which I have done in years past. Last year, I stopped giving up things, like chocolate or pastries at Starbucks or other such things, and instead, chose to embrace the culmination of the Joy of Easter. It worked well. Learning something that is spiritual, centering and is geared towards growth in self-discipline is something that follows in the real Spirit of Lent.

When I attend Church, I attend Mass. I certainly do not agree with everything The Church believes in, however, it is the place that I spiritually feel at home. The Rites of the Mass are very comforting….that’s me and I know it’s not for everyone. Just like I know purists would tell me that my choice for Lent is not in the Spirit.   While the opinions of those that I respect are important to me, I still have to be able reconcile matters of the Spirit within myself.      Fasting on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday as well as not eating meat on Fridays during Lent are observances I follow each year, no matter how I choose to personally honor the season.

PS – Am sharing this picture just because I love it. It’s St. Patrick’s Church in Downtown Washington DC (on 10th street at F St NW). When I am in DC on Sundays, my routine is 8 AM Mass then Brunch with the Sunday Washington Post.   There is something about being able to walk to church and then spend the morning embracing things that I love (food and a big Sunday Paper).  I’ll be there next Sunday