Menagerie
Posted on 07. May, 2009 by Deb.
I have a soft spot in my heart for creatures. For the last nine years, the primary focus of that love has been my Bouvier des Flanders, Greta. When I think back about my life, I recall only a one-month period of my life when I didn’t have a pet of some sort.
My folks were cat people, and as a child I had cats. I learned kittens do better in pairs and older cats are fine on their own. When I married, after a month or so, we got a dog. Then when we moved into the house a few months later, my love of animals was allowed to blossom. Before we had children, we had two cats, three dogs, and a Mexican red-kneed tarantula named Charlie. Time and children changed the animal household. Animals passed away. Charlie went to the zoo. Having a curious toddler and a tarantula together made me uncomfortable. The Ft. Worth Zoo was happy to have him, as his species had become “threatened.”
For a while, we were down to Greta as our only pet.
As with the ebb and flow of life in general, our menagerie has expanded. First came the guinea pig. His name is simply “Pig.” His love of his cage mate left a friend with an infant, a toddler, two adult and several teenaged guinea pigs. He has a cute little personality and loves spinach.
Next came two little koi fish — after a month of Invisi-Fish as an aquarium “conditioned.”
Now we have a bit of a menagerie.
We have canine, rodent, fish — and now a feline. Today a cat joined our household. His name is Bat and he is beginning to settle into the family. He is a rescue kitty and has spent the last three months in a shelter. He will need to adjust, but will in time. I have faith.
Happy Thursday.
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Everything
Posted on 05. May, 2009 by Deb.
Some days, we have everything in our minds yet struggle to get the thoughts to flow from our minds onto the paper. It isn’t that it is a bad day, indeed it is often when I am clearest days I feel least able to write. Those who really know me, would say that it is words that flow from my mouth instead of my fingers. I have been writing in spells, often on paper; my thoughts have been too close to my heart to share but with those closest friends.
There have been more changes this year than I have ever had, and the mirth of happy accidents have given me something I never thought I would find: love. Not simply love, mind you, but a head-over-heels, how was I ever so lucky to have the love of a man who has become not only my mate but my best friend? This is one area in which I find it hard to make words, as I am so incredibly blissful and joyous. As a writer, I am also a voracious reader, so I find that it is often comforting to find the words of others that reflect how I feel. This is from a letter written by Zelda Fitzgerald to F. Scott Fitzgerald (1919):
If you should die – O Darling – darling Scott – It’d be like going blind. I know, I would, too, – I’d have no purpose in life – just a pretty – decoration. Don’t you think I was made for you? I feel like you had me ordered – and I was delivered to you – to be worn – I want you to wear me, like a watch-charm or a button hole bouquet – to the world.
When life has finally given you a person that makes you feel complete it is the most rewarding gift in the world. I am ever so thankful. 2009 has wrought the most amazing changes as I begin the next chapter of my life. Happy Tuesday.
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For the Love of the Cookbook
Posted on 03. May, 2009 by Deb.
I found it fascinating that, according to this article in the Wall Street Journal, there is a rise in the sale of cookbooks. By the numbers, books in the entertainment/cooking category is up by 4% (while adult nonfiction overall is down 9%). The author pointed out that people are cooking at home more as part of the factor, however, many of the cookbooks out there these days are impractical.
Many people confess to reading cookbooks “like novels,” that is, cover-to-cover, usually in bed and often with no real intention of preparing the dishes the author describes. The late, beloved food writer Laurie Colwin once wrote, “You want comfort; you want security; you want food; you want not to be hungry; and not only do you want those basic things fixed, you want it done in a really nice, gentle way that makes you feel loved….Cookbooks say to the person who’s reading them, ‘If you will read me, you will be able to do this for yourself and for others. You will make everybody feel better.’”
I certainly understand. Food is a comfort. When I am happy – or stressed – food comes into play. When I want to show others that I care about them, I long to feed them. Sometimes I find comfort in reading the food-words of others. I think it’s why so many talk about what they have eaten in blog posts, where the old joke was “I had a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch.” It isn’t that we have nothing else to say, it’s that we want to share with the nameless faces out there a part of our comfort.
For Christmas 2007, I purchased myself one item: Mario Batali’s Molto Italiano. And it resides, not in my kitchen where most cookbooks live, but among the books in my bedroom. I have yet to make a single item from this lovely book, but I have read it, like the article suggested, cover to cover like a novel. One day, I will make a special meal from these pages. In the meantime I have enjoyed the reading of it, savoring the words and imagining the ingredients in my hands as I prepare them to nourish the ones that I love.
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A Good Foundation
Posted on 29. Apr, 2009 by Deb.
Whenever a woman’s body changes, it is important that she invest in updated foundation garments (in other words: new brassieres). If you watch Oprah, you’ve heard the statistics that 8 out of 10 women are wearing the wrong size bra. It makes sense, honestly. Good undergarments, especially for women of larger size, are not inexpensive and we are often unwilling to spend money on this type of item which, in a budget situation, can seem impractical. If you look at the word that I first used when discussing bras, however, you will see how I feel about it: it is a foundation garment for every piece of clothing that you wear.
Yesterday, I met my girlfriend Miss J at Nordstroms. Last week when we had lunch, she confessed that she had not purchased new bras since before she had children. That was four years and two children ago. Do you realize how much a woman’s body changes when she has a child? As for me, since January, I’ve dropped around 24 pounds. For me, this translated into a loss of 4-inches, or 2 band sizes. I was very fortunate. The product representative for Fantasie was in the store and handled my fitting. No wonder my back has been bother me! Today, I feel a world of difference. My friend, Miss J, was so excited that she, once again, had more-defined waist.
Though not in every budget, I strongly suggest that you take a visit to Nordstroms to at least get fitted properly; you don’t have to purchase everything you try on, but you will leave knowing what your proper size should be; and anyone that wears an “A” to “D” cup can easily purchase bras at such wonderful places as Target. Those of use a little more endowed have learned that in the long run, Nordstroms is much less expensive than wearing the wrong size. Because a foundation is an important thing to have.
Happy Wednesday!
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Catching Up for All Things Girl
Posted on 27. Apr, 2009 by Deb.
This evening has been about catching up on all my backlogged email for All Things Girl. The next issue is due out at the end of the week, and I feel behind. I prefer to feel ahead. It will get there, though. It always does. I have yet to write my column, mainly because I don’t quite know what to write about. I like my columns to be a reflection of my growth and progress as a person and the changes in myself are so vast that it is hard to put into words some days. That’s a very good thing, actually. But as a writer, it gives me pause.
The editor for this upcoming issue for Arts seems to be AWOL, so I’ve been reviewing submissions for Arts, and am feeling very inspired by the wonderful images. In the early days of the zine, I had submissions in the Arts section often, but as the quality of digital photography has grown, fewer of my images make their way into our digital pages. We made a decision at the last redesign to treat each of the editors like anyone else: we submit to the issue through the editor of the section just like anyone. I’m giving my photos a quick glance-through, though!
A new redesign is in progress, and one of the things we have decided to do is close the reviews section and move all the reviews into the blog. We’ve been without a reviews editor for four issues now, so it’s a group effort. And to be honest, it’s almost as if we are competing with ourselves by putting reviews in both sections. We need reliable reviewers, though, as we are offered books to review all the time but just don’t have enough time – or people – to actually do the reviews.
Today is one of those thinking out loud days.
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…and a Very Nice Sunday
Posted on 26. Apr, 2009 by Deb.
As I was putting another load of laundry on to wash, I realized something: today has been a wonderful day. It isn’t that I’ve done something extraordinary, but the day-t0-day activities have been, in reflection, special in their own right.
- I was able to sleep in a little, fix some coffee and mediate.
- Spent some quality time just hanging out with my sweetie
- Cooked lunch
- Took a walk
- Grocery Shopped
- Watched a goofy movie with my youngest
- Washed, folded, and put away four loads of laundry
- Played a game of Scrabble in the afternoon
- Had dinner with my youngest, my oldest and her boyfriend as we watched Last Cake Standing
And my day is not yet at a close. I still am looking forward to:
- Kids going to bed on time without squabbles
- More quality time with my sweetheart
- A clean kitchen when I go to bed so that the day starts fresh tomorrow
Who could ask for much more than being surrounded with laughter and joy and love? Sometimes, I think we put so much emphasis on the big events in life that we lose sight on the absolute joy in the moments of each day. We are assualted with so many negatives out there. In fact, there are some folks that I know who seem to live so deeply in the world of the negatives that they can’t find the positives; the miss the sweetness of the moments as they rush from one activity to another or lament upon the bad things in their lives. Life is simply too short to dwell in the negatives. I prefer, instead, to look at the sunny side of the street.
Hope your Sunday has been as wonderful as you.
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Upcoming Changes
Posted on 25. Apr, 2009 by Deb.
I am changing my blog, and if you are here on the date this is written, you are one of the handful of friends that knows. It will be public in the next week or so, just as soon as the design work is completed. I’m not in a rush, when it gets down to it; my blog has never been about traffic, but about the exercise of writing. There are many factors, but overall, it is simply time for a change. One of many changes this year. I don’t look at change as a negative, by the way, but a positive.
Overall, I am an optimistic person and in thinking up a new domain name, I thought about my overall philosophy about this “thing” that is my life. When it comes down to it, I know that life is not always easy; at times we must do things that are incredibly difficult. In order to continue growing, remembering the positive while dealing with the difficult is like this: focus on the sprinkles of the cupcake that is my life. Simplistic and not always practical, but certainly a better approach to life than to focus on the dregs in the bowl.
I took the words of Courage and Passion for 2008 and am well versed in their application to my life. As Audre Lorde put it “Afraid is a country with no exit visa” and if I choose to live in the world of fear, I will never grow nor change. So courage shall continue. And life is not a life well lived without passion. Life is about living – and loving. 2009 has turned out to be the best year ever of my life. There have been changes in me that I hadn’t thought possible; I have learned more about openness, vulnerability and trust than I knew. There has also been the gift of love, and through love, the ability to learn to forgive myself for my imperfections. In the words of Zona Gale “Loving, like a prayer, is a power as well as a process. It is curative. It is creative.” The process is truly wonderful – frightening, but also so incredibly amazing. Each day brings new magic and I am appreciating each and every single sprinkle I’m given.
Life is simply too short to do otherwise.
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Girlie Shopping
Posted on 23. Apr, 2009 by Deb.
One of my favorite quirky little card shops is the world of Curly Girl Designs:
I discovered Curly Girl Designs at my old salon and fell in love. The cards grace my desk as inspirational words. They make their way from my desk into the mailboxes of my girlfriends. The calendar hangs on my walls as I count down the days to special days, like my birthday. I know that so much of the world has gone electronic, but sometimes, there is still nothing like paper and the excitement of having real mail, not just bills, in your mail box. Like physical books, I don’t think cards will completely disappear.
In fact, maybe that should be my goal for the rest of the year, to share a card with a friend at least once a month. I have a fresh stock, you see, because in my mailbox today was a little package of Curly Girl Designs Cards. The order I made in November 2008 was lacking in a certain percentage of mushy cards, cards that I thought were disgustingly sweet now seem just right for where I am in April 2009.
Happy Thursday!
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About True Friends
Posted on 22. Apr, 2009 by Deb.
Though Facebook hasn’t brought much to my life beyond Scrabble and a reminder of how petty junior high was, it has been the vehicle for connecting with a couple of folks from my past that has been very positive. Like Miss J, who met me for lunch today. This is the second time we’ve gotten together since reconnecting and the thing is, she is just one of those people that is genuine.
I’ve known Miss J since the 6th grade, which would have made us eleven. She spent the night at my house, was one of the few friends to attend my wedding shower; but I moved on to my married life and she went away to college. The rekindling of this friendship after twenty-two years is really sweet. As you cannot help but do, we discussed some of the folks we went to high school with, and those interactions we had in present day as well as those we had in the past. Some folks, you see, are unable to live in the present and still cling to the lives of their past. Some folks are interested in growing and bettering themselves; others are more self-centered and shallow.
She told me today that our freshman year, the purity and sweetness of my voice when I audtioned for the part of Daisy Mae our freshman year moved her; as an artist, she saw beauty there. It meant so much for her bring forth a brief moment of my past, and let me know that it was something that she still remembered so many years later. She also confided in me about an action of her past and I was now one of only six people that knew; she told me because she just knew that she could trust me to know and not judge. A true friend, you see, is someone that you can talk to daily, and still have soemthing to say; or someone that you can talk to after two months and have a milion things to catch up on; or someone you haven’t seen in twenty years, and it feels like you had just seen them the day before.
I am so thankful.
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Saucy
Posted on 21. Apr, 2009 by Deb.
Tonight I made a white sauce, otherwise known as Béchamel Sauce. It’s amazing what the mixture of a little bit of butter, flour and milk can produce; I am always impressed with not only the taste, but the pure loveliness of the sauce. It was so yummy, and I added it to chicken, pasta, and broccoli. Here is a quick “how to” I found on YouTube
Loveliness? In a sauce? Oh, yes. In growing up we had gravy at at least half of our meals and when I first began cooking, it was something I thought should be served as often as possible. There was a problem, however: I couldn’t made a smooth gravy. Don’t laugh, but I had to strain almost every gravy I made thanks to the lumps. So, every time I make a new sauce or a successful gravy, it makes me very joyous.
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Three and Forty
Posted on 20. Apr, 2009 by Deb.
The gentle humor of my father is a constant of my childhood. thinking on his upbringing makes me wonder about how we are shaped in the whole nature vs. nurture side of things. Of course, it makes me wonder about my own self, because I see how my mother’s behavior has affected me, however, I digress, as I was discussing my father.
When my father was born, he was premature. Advancements in dealing with preemies has certainly made strides and in the 1930’s, there wasn’t much that could be done. The doctor, after delivering my father, suggested he be placed on the door of the oven. A farmer down the road had suffered a heart attack and he needed to go. When he came back for the body the next day, he was surprised to see my father alive. In the early 1980’s, we discovered that the doctor had filed the birth certificate as “still born”; my mother complained that my father was named after the doctor due to that little discovery.
The family had a working farm. I don’t quite see how they survived the depression, but I do know that my grandfather assisted in the building of The Rock Gym, which was part of WPA. They continued to farm, and my father was part of that needed process. Besides growing vegetables for the family, they grew crops for sale. They rotated the growth of winter wheat, maize, hay, and, of course, cotton. My father started school late every year, but with a class size of twelve students, the school understood. He attended school at the same location where, years before, his father had contributed to the building of the school gym.
My father is stoop-shouldered, and recently mentioned to me that it was due to the number of hours on a tractor during his youth. His father was a harsh critic, and as the only boy in a family of four children, he took the load of the physical labor. Maybe it is where he got his work ethic, which has been strong as long as I can remember. He didn’t retire the end of 2007, and he still helps cover for vacations at his company.
It is difficult to see how he has aged; he is my father and should be the same as he was when I was a child. The heart attack was hard on him, and this injury to his back has slowed him. I’m thankful that his sense of humor has remained. When he makes me laugh, I’m not forty, but three again.
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Wild, Wild West
Posted on 18. Apr, 2009 by Deb.
Growing up in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area, you learn that Ft. Worth is where the West begins. So, to celebrate those roots, tonight I’m going to watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, which is on TCM tonight at 7 PM Central. Legend has it that the real Butch and Sundance spent some time in Ft. Worth, Texas. And I have to admit, I do love seeing the young Paul Newman and Robert Redford….
Enjoy your Saturday!
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Make It PINK
Posted on 17. Apr, 2009 by Deb.
Today when I got my manicure and pedicure, instead of my typical red and/or french, I got pink. Not a dark-almost-red raspberry, but a delicate baby carnation pink.The last couple of months, I have been embracing my femininity; pink is just one of those things. So is exploring changes in my hairstyle, little sparkly clips, and putting on a dress to wear on evenings when I am simply home. It’s a break from the bulk of last year, when I wore black suits and pantyhose every day. A year ago, I would have said you wouldn’t catch me dead in delicate pink nail polish, nor would you find a little white daisy on my polished pink big toe; it just goes to show that you should never say never.
The first really dressy dress I remember owning was for my cousin Judy’s wedding. I know some folks don’t consider Texans as Southerners, but in our own way, we are. Weddings, of course, are important affairs for anyone, but in the South, they can be huge affairs. My Aunt and my cousin were sorority girls, so this wedding, the oldest daughter as well as the oldest granddaughter, was enormous. The wedding was in June of 1972. The color scheme was rainbow, and each of the bridesmaids wore a differently colored pastel chiffon dress with a matching hat. I was not the flower girl, but I did get to pass out the rice to the guests, which meant I needed something pastel and fancy; I wanted something pink.
I can clearly remember the dress, although it’s been more than thirty years: it was a delicate silky pink gingham with white lace trim. It was floor length and I wore white stockings and white patent leather Mary Janes. I can’t recall actually buying the dress, but I remember the events surrounding the purchase. We had to drive to Dallas as there were no big department stores in the nearest town, Arlington. These days, I go to Dallas regularly, but in 1972, getting from Mansfield, Texas to Dallas was like an adventure. Or maybe my mother just made a big deal out of needing to drive to Dallas to go shopping. She never has been much of a traveler. I don’t remember trying on dresses and making this final selection, I do remember eating lunch after; I guess I’ve always been a little food driven and it was the first time we ate at The Zodiac Room, the tea room at the Downtown Dallas Neiman Marcus.
Funny how our minds and memories work and the choice of pink nail polish made me recall my first fancy dress. Maybe it was a simple trigger of a color that reminded me, or maybe, I’m beginning to get down to the core of the person I truly am: part tomboy, part girly-girl. I’m learning how to play again and I am embracing my femininity. When it gets down to it, I guess I just I enjoy being a girl….and I hope you enjoy this lovely little song from “Flower Drum Song”:
Happy Friday! I hope this finds you embracing who you want to be today.
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and Music
Posted on 16. Apr, 2009 by Deb.
For some reason, music is on my mind tonight.
Maybe, it was the discovery of sheet music in the garage this past week. Today, as I took out the garbage, and went to shut the garage door, I decided to take the discovery into the house; garage air isn’t exactly a preservative for paper. Out of the Sweet Dreams songbook, flew two xeroxed pieces of music, both in Italian, from the last time I took voice lessons. Caro Mio Ben was one of the pieces; for the life of me, I still recall the words to The Skylark, which I didn’t find. I had forgotten that I had been capable of singing notes so high and melodies so complex. At almost 41, I am both more confident, yet less confident, than I was at 19. In some ways, the time of voice lessons, which I haven’t taken since 1989, seems like yesterday; but in other ways, it seems like another lifetime – and another person – ago.
Maybe it is the showing of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers on TCM tonight. My high school did musicals every year, and that was the musical of my Sophomore year. I was Millie and it was probably the most fun of all the theatre I did in high school and college. The music was fun, but the cast was large and we were close. In fact, of the folks from High School I have reconnected with, at least five of them were either “brides” or “brothers”. The most challenging play, however, wasn’t a musical, but Greek. Trojan Women was a great ensemble piece and I was fortunate to have a nice role (that came with a fabulous costume). But I digress. I’ve mostly been thinking about music.
Maybe, instead, it is the addition of more music into my household. The boyfriend to the oldest plays Bass and is teaching the oldest to play. At times, the kids have friends over, and there are evenings when there are a couple of bass guitars, an acoustic guitar and/or more. While the blaring of some of the heavier rock music can be grating, the sounds of live music are actually quite soothing. On a recent Sunday, a friend tuned the guitar while we were chatting and I was mesmerized. I believe the addition of instruments in the household is a wonderful bonus. Except, maybe, the recorder; it’s a little screechy.
We are mostly a digital family now. Computer downloads and the IPods are the main source of music, but we do have older media. There are CD’s in stacks, LP’s (though no turntable) and an 8-track player with a few 8-track tapes. Three, to be exact, if we are counting. One of those is a Willie Nelson 8-Track from 1978. Which brings us full circle to the music of my past that I mentioned the other day. When I was searching for a little something to share, I chose Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground. It’s one of the songs that resides on my IPod, and a song that I do love. This version is just lovely; an acoustic rendition done live during an early 80’s interview with Barbara Walters.
I’m a tad disjointed today. It is a Thursday, but for some reason, it seems like a Wednesday. I visited with my hair dresser today and we put the first step in motion to change my hairstyle. Which is huge, because, according to the youngest child in my house, I have had the same hairstyle, for all of my life. Not really, honest. I mean, I wasn’t born with bangs. I guess, however, after at least ten years, a change would do me good. And once again, I digress. But as I mentioned, I am a tad disjointed today. I’m sure you will forgive me.
Happy Thursday; it’s almost Friday!
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On The Side
Posted on 15. Apr, 2009 by Deb.
When I went to dinner tonight, I ordered my salad like I tend to always do: with the dressing on the side. I like the taste of the salad and the dressing truly is just a little flavor enhancer. Besides, the drenching of a salad with dressing can add hundreds of additional calories. I’ve dropped twenty pounds since January, and closely watching what I add to foods has been a great help with that.
As I was enjoying the salad with tiny dips of the fork tines into the dressing before spearing a bit of the crisp iceberg or fresh tomatoes, I began to chuckle to myself about the preference of having sauces and dressings and the like served on the side. It made me think about the movie When Harry Met Sally and Sally’s complex way of ordering:
When Harry Met Sally is one of those movies that I can watch anytime it comes on. There is the whole discussion of “can men and women be friends” / “low maintenance vs high maintenance women” as well as the underlying lesson of the movie that the best lasting relationships between men and women are those who have a basis of friendship and simply enjoy each other’s company as friends. In the final scene of the movie, Harry tells Sally what he loves about her, which is all about reveling in her imperfections because, in his eyes, that is what makes her perfect.
.
You see, he just likes her. When you get down to it, when it comes to choosing a life mate, isn’t the ability to like someone as much as you love them pretty darned special?
It’s been, overall, a wonderful day. I hope that your day has given you some bright spots as well as