Archive for 'The Girl'
What kind of creative spirit are you?
Posted on 23. Apr, 2010 by Deb.
I attended a tele-seminar on Tuesday night conducted by Laura Hollick - and have been meaning to share the results of a quiz I took prior to attending the seminar:
You are on a journey. You are searching to find your purpose and heal all the pieces that have disconnected you from your truth. Your great power is your desire and passion for learning and discovering. You might take this quality for granted, but know that it is desire and passion that creates worlds. You are ripe to burst into a new level of awareness and launch a dream that has been held within you forever. When you feel safe you have a childlike openness which keeps your mind young and healthy. There may be lots of questions swirling around within you right now, write them all down on a piece of paper and release them to the wind for every single one will be answered as you continue on your journey.
Your greatest challenge: While you are on the journey to know and discover who you really are you can feel lost and confused. The journey can feel tiresome at times because you might think it would be easier if you just had all the pieces. But, your challenge is to trust your process and know that it is unfolding perfectly with your best interest at heart.
Your greatest opportunity: You are on the journey of discovering your true purpose. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. You are on track to ignite a dream held deep within.
Your call to action: Trust yourself as you continue to move forward on this journey. Keep moving forward even when you can’t see where you are going. Think of a situation in your life where you need to trust yourself more. What would you do if you did trust yourself? Do that now.
Always a little freaky when you do a quiz and it turns out to be pretty spot-on. What about YOU? What kind of creative spirit are you?
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Acceptance
Posted on 10. Apr, 2010 by Deb.
In my seeking for higher voices (besides the amazing folks around me), I have discovered Tonya Williams of Just B Living. I signed up for her (free) Series called “14 Days to a Lighter You”. Today is day four, and in addition to her emailed message, there was a link to this blog post (a portion of which I’ve quoted)
Our bodies and our lives are forever changing. We are all energy that is continuously flowing. When we fight with our reality through non-acceptance, we are blocking the energetic flow of the universe.
This is why dieter’s get stuck in a negative cycle of gaining and losing. They continuously focus on what they don’t want – the weight. They are afraid that if they accept their wonderful bodies as they are now, it will never change. However, the opposite is true. If they will trust the divine intelligence of the universe and understand that very few things in life are permanent – including weight – then acceptance may come easier.
Permanence is rigid. It does not bend. It breaks easily. It is a block to creativity. This mindset stands between you and your ideal body. Think of things that we deem as permanent – death and, well, come to think of it, nothing in life is permanent, except maybe Sharpie’s.
When you believe in permanence, you lose. You believe things won’t change. And then you spend your time fighting with reality, and as Byron Katie says, “To argue with reality is to argue with God, and you only lose 100% of the time.”
But, acceptance….acceptance is love. It allows for transformation. It fuels positive energy. It flows. It puts you at peace with yourself, and peaceful people don’t stuff down their feelings with food, and if they do, they know that it isn’t permanent. The next moment is an opportunity to start over.
Self-acceptance causes you to be an ally with yourself, instead of your worst enemy. When our bodies and minds work together, amazing things happen. Acceptance means that you accept the now but you are also excited about what is to come, not afraid of what the future holds.
This is one of the best things I’ve read all week. I am certainly the queen at self-flagellation and in recent weeks I’ve realized that it has to stop. I am a long believer in the fact that we are capable of stretching our spirits and polishing up our souls if we are willing. But I wasn’t looking at all the wonderful things in my life and all the positive things I do, I was only looking at my failures. It’s a horrid cycle to get into, and when you are there in the middle of it, you just can’t seem to find a way out.
I know that there is a way out, though. And it isn’t going to be easy, but it’s doable. And it isn’t going to be possible if I continue to criticize myself for anything negative; I have to accept things as they are and also accept that I have the power to change.
Christine Kane had advised creating a weekly “minimum habit requirement”:
4. Create an MHR.
MHR stands for “Minimum Habit Requirement.”
Instead of trying to change everything at once, pick one small new habit and make that your Minimum Habit Requirement each day. A 30-minute work out, for example.
Your MHR is the starting point of your newfound proactivity. The goal is to simply experience the creative energy of choosing a habit and sticking with it.
via Christine Kane’s How to Turn a Set-Back into a Come-back (Part Two)
My goal for this week was to get back into the gym at least twice this week. Today was the third day this week that I’ve made it. My body is sore, but a really good sore that reminds me that my muscles love to be worked and that my body really is more energetic when I move it. The first day back, I was feeling really wonderful about being there until a group of stick-thin women headed into the Yoga area. Then I gave myself a little talking to: why would I beat myself up for having this curvy, wonderful body? It isn’t perfect, but it’s something that can be worked until it’s in the best shape that it can be. I don’t have the stick-thin body type and though I can lose a little around the middle, parts of me won’t decrease unless I have breast-reduction surgery. I LIKE my curves – they are wonderful. And being back in the gym will enhance that wonderfulness, make me feel more energetic, and continue to make me feel strong and healthy.
What about you? Are you stuck in the cycle of only seeing your flaws? Or are you striving to accept your reality as you make your life better?
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What Are You Eating?
Posted on 08. Apr, 2010 by Deb.
Yes, I submitted my breakfast yesterday to What Are You Eating Right Now? , an interactive experiment from The New York Times. I found the presentation absolutely fascinating.
And yes, this is a typical at home breakfast for me. Yes, that is All Bran/Fiber One in the bowl (with some strawberries). Yes, I LIKE All Bran. Really. I’m also on a berry kick. Strawberries and Blackberries and just beginning to come into season and are enticing and sensual and rich in delicate flavors. (Blueberries, however, are lagging and still taste a little on the dull side).
What about you? What do you like for breakfast?
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Three Little Letters: G Y M
Posted on 07. Apr, 2010 by Deb.
When I made my long list of things that need to be done on Sunday morning, there were several big tasks that are going to require a planned approach. Among these are:
- Spring cleaning my closet (and dresser)
- Culling through my books and sending some to Half-Price Books
- Outlining my latest novel idea
- Outlining a series of short stories that I agreed to write with a girlfriend
- Going to the gym
Yes. They are all daunting tasks that are going to require time and focus.
Today, I decided that I would go to the gym. It’s a lovely gym. Honest. It has a great pool, steam room, sauna, wonderful free weights and a wide selection of cardio equipment. And the locker room is wonderful – with blow dryers and towel service. I was successful in the past with a gym routine when I kept a packed bag that was ready so that I could get up, grab it, and go. That bag isn’t packed yet.
I went back from my office into my bedroom to get dressed for the gym. I began to extract workout tanks and bike shorts and got distracted by one of the other tasks on my list: cleaning out my dresser and closet. When I say extract, I mean find a somewhat matching outfit. After I got dressed and was putting in my contacts, my phone rang.
It was a client with a problem.
The initial solution to the problem was simple: if you do not spell the website address correctly, then it will not show in your browser window. It led us to a longer discussion, though: SEO, the status of several other projects, and brainstorming to improve the projects and share more business. As we talked, I walked past the laundry room and I realized that there was a sad little pile of towels that needed to be folded; something I could do as we brainstormed.
And now, I sit here with my umph to go to the gym a little less umphy. But I do know that if I go, the ability to start taking big bites out of all of my elephants will become easier. Because working out gives you more energy.
Hope you are having a wonderful Wednesday!
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Higher Voices
Posted on 06. Apr, 2010 by Deb.
The first day back from an extended trip seems to pass more quickly than other days. I was successful with the completion of more than a dozen things on my laundry list, though taking bites out of some of the bigger tasks is going to be harder and take a heck of a lot more time.
Today is dedicated to all things creative. I am heading over to Melissa‘s for coffee (and a snack of course). We discuss our open projects and brainstorm ways to complete them along with new projects to consider. We also spend some of our time discussing where things stand on All Things Girl, which is seeing an increase in energy with the promotion of Roxanne Ravenel to Senior Editor. Being around creative people, even if it’s just via email as we plan things, really energizes me to new energies and inspires me to pursue my creative goals.
In Part Two (I mentioned Part One last week) of Christine Kane’s post “How to Turn a Set-Back into a Come-back“, she suggests that we do just that:
7. Immerse yourself in higher voices.
You’re blessed to be living in a time when you can access any spiritual teacher or success guru in the world. Audiobooks, downloads, articles, books and blogs. Give yourself time each day to renew your mind and get stoked by higher voices. It will train you to think yourself into your comeback.
Christine is right. There is incredible access to higher voices in 2010. In pursuit of re-energizing myself…of growing…of finding my courage and my faith…. I have come to realize that these higher voices are all around me. My friend Lee has been a part of my life for more years than I can count on both hands now, and I have always looked to her as a spiritual guide and teacher. She is one of those voices. And spending time (in person, on the phone, via email, via the quiet pursuit of surfing the web) with creative people like Melissa and Roxanne and Lorissa (our ATG Founder) and so many other people in my life is a way to immerse myself in some higher voices. When I have the doubts, the lack of self confidence, the feeling that my ideas are silly or not worth pursuing, I get the gentle encouragement I need, even if they don’t know they are doing it.
So the questions to ask today: what higher voices are you listening to – and are they inspiring you? And are you living a life that can be a higher voice to those around you? What can you do today to inspire, support, gently guide and lift up the world? Probably more than you think….
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Laundry List
Posted on 04. Apr, 2010 by Deb.
I was fortunate to spend a portion of my time in one of my favorite places these past few days: the Courtyard of the Hotel Monaco.
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(this photo taken in September 2008; not much has changed since then)
I didn’t get to spend as much time there as I would have liked, but part of traveling over a holiday weekend and having family obligations means less down time. In a typical trip to DC, I would have planned to stay through late Sunday or early Monday. With my mom’s illness, I needed to be home for lunch. But I digress.
The spring air combined with a much needed cocktail got my head wrapped around what needs to be accomplished during the month of April. I set about doing a bit of woolgathering and discovered that my wish list is quite long. Still, I allowed my mind to wander as I sat in the garden and thought about work and wants and needs and the need to reintroduce some creativity back into my daily life. Brief moments aren’t conducive to a real brain dump, so I saved that until my flight home.
After breakfast was served and I was enjoying my 3rd cup of coffee, I sat with pen and paper and begin listing everything that had gathered in my mind. When you end up with a laundry list of to-dos and must-dos, getting a real control over it can be a task so daunting that it’s almost paralyzing. As overwhelming as it can be, the only way to make progress is to break it down into chunks and eat it like you would an elephant: one bite at a time.
April is going to be an interesting month. I already had the beginnings of heavier than usual travel and with the (potential) new contract, that means three days a week on the road. It’s the kind of travel I like: solid contract with the ability to find my way around a new town and make it “mine”. Granted, I’d love that city to be a city like DC, but to be honest, I’m thrilled with wherever work takes me. (I can tell you that there is no Kimpton Hotel in this city – there isn’t even a single Hilton Property in the town!).
Just keep good thoughts headed my way as I break down my laundry list into those manageable bites and set out to conquer the little piece of my world!
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On the Road Again
Posted on 02. Apr, 2010 by Deb.
After months of being a bit of a homebody, I’m on the road again and the rest of this month looks to be pretty busy, which, overall, is a good thing. I won’t begin to bore you with the details of work, just know that I love at about 98% of what I do and always prefer to be busier than not busy. I got word today on a new contract and I’m thrilled. I’m always flattered (and thankful) when an old client recommends me to someone and they become a new client.
This week, work has brought me to DC, which is my favorite place to be. I won’t be able to get out and do all the things I’d like to do (I don’t think I will make it to Arlington Cemetery this trip), but I did get an opportunity for some things.
After a rough winter, DC was blessed today with clear skies, light winds, temperatures in the low 80′s, and unadulterated beauty. The crowds are pretty intense with the peak of the blossoms and a holiday weekend. But I was blessed to be able to see the true beauty that Mother Nature offers us in the Spring.
Hope you are well. It’s long past my bedtime.
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Your “Old Self”
Posted on 29. Mar, 2010 by Deb.
In my perusal of blogs, I came across this post by Christine Kane last week – Part One of a two-part series entitled “How to Turn a Set-back into a Comeback”. Part one goes through six reminders about set-backs, things that we truly need to understand and embrace before we are able to move forward. I was re-reading the post tonight after sending it to one of my ATG Editors and stopped here:
2 – You’re not going to get back to your “Old Self.”
Sometimes during set backs, we just want things to be the way they used to be. We want our Old Self back.
But think about this. Your “Old Self” was the self that was living so unconsciously that this situation was created in order to wake her up!
You don’t want “Old Self.” You want EXACTLY who you are now. Warts, bruises, disillusionment, and all. These things transmute into wisdom. A New Self. A Wiser Self.
She is there, waiting for this stuff to fall away so she can rise up.
It’s interesting to sit back and realize that everything that has happened to each of us in our lives will stick with us forever. In some cases, we take for granted the good things that happen in our lives. Or we try to ignore the bad things in our lives. We can muddle through the days and the nights until suddenly we realize that weeks have passed – or months – and we are simply exisiting.
Or we can be active participants in our lives.
Take what has happened and learn from it.
Too much of the last few months, I have allowed life to happen to me. I have lived a life of reaction. It’s not a way to live life, but it certainly seems a way to shorten life. In fact, Number 5 on Christine’s list is “we often become addicted to reaction”. It’s a cycle – a perpetual cycle. In order to stop the cycle, however, we have to make a conscious decision to (1) recognize we are simply reacting and (2) stop it. I know there will be days, like the day I rushed to the hospital, where reacting is necessary. But in order to heal, I have to break as much of the cycle of reaction as possible.
I had mentioned earlier that “faith” was my word for 2010. There is no way I will be able to find my faith again – the faith in people in my life, the faith in the goodness of strangers and the faith in me – if I don’t accept that life evolves and people change. I am harder on myself than anyone else, and if I am to accept the fact that people change and change is often a good thing, then I must accept the fact that I am an ever changing and evolving creature.
I want to change. I want to evolve. I want to learn. I want to be a wiser woman, to embrace my bruises of the past, and actually live life. Life is short, too short. And if I am to find my faith in the world, then I need to be an active participate in life instead of reacting to events or watching the world go by.
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Update on My Mom
Posted on 28. Mar, 2010 by Deb.
Mother was finally sent home from the hospital on Wednesday evening. She met with oncology (Texas Oncology and they are WONDERFUL) on Thursday for her pre-assessment meeting to get her tattoo and cat-scan. On Friday received her first radiation treatment. She was exhausted both Friday night and most of Saturday and ate her first good meal on Saturday night. Today, she says she is tired but feels more like her “old self”.
We know that the cancer is a 3b and we know that it has not spread beyond her chest cavity at this point. She is going to try radiation and will make a decision from there on her further treatment. The doctors have told her that have two weeks of radiation, they will be able to see if it is effective in any way. At this point, she will decide if she is going to continue treatment.
I know a lot of folks would say that she should do everything possible to extend her time here in this life. And no one wants to lose their Mother (or spouse or sister or grandmother). However. It is HER life. HER body. She has said that if treatment is going to only prolong her life by weeks or months and she will be miserable and in pain, she doesn’t want to do it. If treatment can prolong her life by years, she is all in. She wants to remain as long as possible, but there has to be a QUALITY to life, not just quantity.
She is 74 and has led a long, full life. She has two kids, four grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. She still has friends that are living that she spends time with and she has an older brother and sister still around.
I have assured her, as has my sister and father, that treatment is her choice. That we will support her in whatever she chooses. That she has a right to have her remaining days be about a quality and enjoyment of life.
I think that’s all any of us ask is that our life can be filled with more joy than pain.
(photo of me and my mom, circa 1969)
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Chicken Soup for the Puny
Posted on 27. Mar, 2010 by Deb.
I went to bed last night with a sore throat and woke up with a worse sore throat. Today then seems like a good day to make some homemade soup. Instead of simply throwing everything in the crockpot, I decided it was the day for sauteing and simmering.
I needed fresh veggies…and an amazing ways to bring out the flavor is to saute them in olive oil. I chopped garlic, onions, green onions, carrot, a turnip, potatoes, and cabbage. Saute in olive oil. Next came fresh chicken and lots of sodium reduced chicken broth. Kosher Salt. And fresh ground pepper. After several hours, I added brown rice.
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Spring Time
Posted on 26. Mar, 2010 by Deb.
The office windows are open today and the breeze is crisp. The navy curtains are gently blowing and the cat is alternating between sitting against the screens and letting the smells tickle his little pink nose while the wind caress whiskers and sitting on my desk. There is a magical quality to spring that makes me want to sing arias to the flowers and lay on the freshly mowed lawn.
I haven’t yet ventured out to find bluebonnets, but I will in the next couple of weeks. It’s early still. (The photo above was taken in the Spring of 2004). I will be venturing to other favorite cities (and maybe a new city or two) for work responsibilities and am planning to pad at least the first trip by a day so that I can enjoy the beauty of Mother Nature in the spring.
I hope that wherever you are. And whatever you are doing today. That you take a few moments to appreciate the gloriousness around you and to be thankful for the abundances you are blessed with.
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My Mother
Posted on 20. Mar, 2010 by Deb.
Today I realized that I have been twittering about being at the hospital, but I haven’t put the pieces together for those who aren’t cursed (blessed?) with me having their phone number programmed into my handy-dandy droid.
Last week, my mother went to the ER last Thursday (March 11th) because she had a shortness of breath and was pretty sure she had pneumonia (again). She has previously been diagnosed with emphysema as well as COPD. She last had pneumonia in early December and her doctor asked her to come back after the first of the year to get a CT scan – she didn’t go. After reviewing the X-Rays, the doctors told her that there was a very large mass in her lungs. They had compared her X-Rays to those taken at the same hospital in late 2008.
By Saturday, the doctors concluded that it was cancerous, though a biopsy would be required for an “official” diagnosis. A biopsy was scheduled for Monday and on Monday, she had a panic attack, so the biopsy was done on Tuesday. On Wednesday, we were told it was officially Cancer and either a 3 or a 4. She has had a complication with the procedures being done. As a result of the biopsy, a pneumothorax developed (basically an air pocket in the chest cavity outside the lung) and she has had fluid build-up. She was in ICU on Wednesday, and then they drained the fluid and did a bone scan. On Thursday, she was moved to a regular room again.
Cancer was diagnosed as a 3b, bordering on 4. Oncology wants to treat with a combination of radiation with chemo. In order for treatment to begin, she has to be stabilized with her breathing. More fluid had built up in the short time since the drain and the Pulmonary doctor wants to put in a small catheter that will allow her (or us) to drain it for her. This was scheduled for Monday.
Friday was her worst night – even worse than when she came into the hospital.
Today she was moved back to ICU. The Pneumothorax that had stabilized yesterday grew substantially overnight. Her right lung was in danger of collapsing as the bulk of her chest cavity was filling with air outside her lungs and the pressure had to be relived, so a chest tube was inserted by the Pulmonary doc today. And she will be in ICU until Monday. The chest tube is painful, so today she has been put on morphine, too.
On Monday, the doctor will decide if the tube can be removed and when the catheter (drain) can be installed. The theory is that the fluid a by-product of the tumor, but they don’t know for sure.
We are in a perpetual cycle. The tumor needs to be reduced as soon as possible, so the oncologists want her to start radiation as early as possible, preferably next week. However, if she cannot breathe due to fluid buildup, she can’t tolerate treatment.
She doesn’t want to be at the hospital by herself. We are all spending as much time as we can up there, but we are all getting a little weary. And she is exhausted.
And on that note, I am heading to bed. Sweet Dreams…
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Saturday Songs
Posted on 06. Mar, 2010 by Deb.
Kid played this song in the car today, so I thought I would share…
It’s been a good Saturday. The weather was really beautiful, though we are expecting some rain later tonight or tomorrow. I’m hoping the rain holds off for Mass tomorrow.
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On The Beginning of Lent
Posted on 17. Feb, 2010 by Deb.
Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Season of Lent.
Though I have quietly observed the Season of Lent the past two years, today is the first time in several years that I have attended Mass on Ash Wednesday. When I am at home, I usually attend mass with the Carmelite Nuns. Today, however, I journeyed a bit north and attended service at St. Maria Goretti Catholic Church in Arlington.
It was at St. Maria Goretti that I attended the RCIA classes and officially converted to Catholicism back in 1990. I left the Parish in 1997 after a disagreement with the Pastor over what constituted the proper “mold” a child should fit within in order to receive a Catholic Education. I could not, in good conscious, give my time and money to a church that felt children should fit certain molds, as we are all God’s Children.
When walking into the sanctuary today, I felt a wave of peace come over me. All the things I love about the Catholic Church – the ritual, the tradition, the comfort found in the Order of the Mass were surrounding me in this beautiful building. And I could feel it radiating from the people in the church today, most of which was an elderly crowd of cradle Catholics. I was glad that I had arrived early, so that I could take some time to kneel and say silent prayers. The Homily was short, but sweet and the priest spoke about how the Lenten Season is not simply about sacrifice, but is actually a joyous season. And I lingered after the completion of the Liturgy of the Word, the Distribution of Ashes, and Communion.
Afterwards, a stranger asked me at a store if I realized there was something on my forehead. I explained that today was Ash Wednesday. Something clicked for her and she asked “So what did you give up for Lent?”
I know that traditionally, a person should give up something they love for Lent. Many people give up favorite snacks. The Priest said he told the Junior High kids in the previous Mass that they should give up texting. 
I have decided the last couple of years to embrace Lent in a different way and enrich my spiritual life. Last year, I took up mediation and abstained from eating meat on Fridays from the beginning of Lent until the beginning of Advent.
So, what was my answer to the stranger?
“Finding my Faith again.”
I have to say, she was a bit taken aback. But the clerk who overheard this conversation quietly told me as I paid for my purchase, “Good luck with your Lent Thing.”
Each year, instead of choosing a New Year’s Resolution, I have chosen words in which to guide me. I haven’t publicly shared my 2010 words yet, but my main word for this year is just that: Faith. Faith encompasses something beyond a belief in God. My belief that God exists has not changed nor has the core of that belief been shaken in any way. Other areas of Faith, however, are shaky. My Faith that people are truly good and kind. My Faith in the laws of karma. My Faith that in the long run of things, everything will work out in the way it should, and in the proper time, not in MY time. And most of all, the Faith I need to have in myself. That I am worthy.
In many long discussions with my dear friend Lee over the choice of my 2010 word, she suggested that maybe one word was all I needed this year. I usually add a complementary couple of words to spice things up and I’m still debating that issue. If I do choose two more words, one of those will be Gratitude and the other shall be Hope, but the jury is still out to be honest. I do know that it’s time to begin to keep a Gratitude Journal once again, even if it’s just for the period between now and Easter.
Though it is only 9 PM, it has been a long day. Time for a little bit of reading and a warm bed.
Sweet Dreams.
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On this Christmas Eve
Posted on 24. Dec, 2009 by Deb.
I’d like to share with you my favorite Christmas story:
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
This is the Nativity story, Luke, Chapter 2, Verses 1 to 14, King James Version
Yes, I am Catholic (though more Spiritual than died-in-the-wool Catholic). But I grew up Baptist and the language of the King James Version of The Bible is the Bible of my childhood and is so beautiful.
I wish each of you, no matter your beliefs this time of year, a Peaceful and Joyful holiday season. May you be surrounded in love.
(The painting is The Adoration of the Christ Child by Domenico di Zanobi and is from the Philadelphia Museum of Art)